I am awake.
My watch is completely lifeless now. The incessant ticking that I had once found so unbelievably annoying was now gone and it made me sad. That was my dad’s watch.
Mom is in the garden, Dad on the porch, brother most likely in the woods and sister is asleep in her crib in the back room that was once a sewing room but now it is her room and not a sewing room. My mother, when I was younger would make all of my clothes back in that room but now I am too old and I prefer to get my clothes from the stores in the city.
I am walking outside when I see Whale. He’s just sitting there in the middle of mom’s garden in a patch of kale. Mom doesn’t even notice him. Dad doesn’t notice him.
Is he there?
Can they see him?
He is still dim
In the garden?
I am not going to go out to him yet because I never go into the garden and my mom will be wondering why I am all of the sudden taking interest in the garden and if she hasn’t seen Whale yet then she definitely will at that point and due to this a lot of questioning will happen and I have no answers about anything. So I stay inside. I walk back to my room and I sit down on the bed. I have to go to the Lake.
Put shirt on
Open window
Go out window
Run to lake
“FOX?!”
“FOX?!”
“FOX?!”
I am not very interested in Mr. Bagell right now because he talks much too slowly and I need answers and I need them in a quick fashion. I think Fox can help me in this way.
“FOX?!”
The silt of the lakeside is drying and cracking and my toes have nothing to sink into so I just sit on the rock again and look out onto the water and wonder if I really just dreamt up everything last night. But that couldn’t be because my calves were still sore this morning and my shirt still had mud on it from the lake.
“Fox!” I yelp.
“Hello boy, why do you yell as you do?”
“Do you know Whale?” I ask.
“Yes, I know Whale. He is me and I am He and We are We.”
I am confused and I fear that if I ask Fox why Whale is in my mother’s garden that he will give me an answer to which I will need an equation to understand. So I stay quiet. Fox has never looked at me. He just looks out at nothing I suppose. He is very still and I try to pet him but my arm can’t ever seem to reach him no matter how close he seems but he is always near.
Fox’s tale I have told you about. His paws are perfect white even when he walks through the mud and the field and the water and the muck. His nose is black like death and his eyes are deep and dark and they taunt me with the wondering thought that they just might hold the answers to the universe. His fur is a shade of orange that Whale showed me.
“Fox, who are you?”
“I am your helper, boy.”
“OK.”
I decide to not ask him about Whale but rather I straight to the point.
“Fox, I need you to get Whale out of my mom’s garden.”
“Boy, I can’t do that. Whale is everywhere. You will be seeing much of him now.”
I turn to ask him what he means but as I turn he is gone and a wind blows and my hair flips up over my ear and I see some clouds rolling in. It’s going to rain. I head home.
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